I'm back. For now. Think of me as a blogging superhero. I swoop in just when I'm need then I'm gone and you have no idea when I'll be back, but you can't wait. Well, a superhero, minus the spandex, and the sidekick, and the cool lair...whatever, you get the point.
So as I lay in bed last night, contemplating life and NOT sleeping, thinking about the day. I realized that there are certain things that are inevitable in my life. LV's Inevitabilities. Some are totally because I'm a scatterbrain, some are because I love my family but they ARE my family and some are just because of Murphy's law. So I thought I'd share with you the things in my life, that will always happen to me, without question.
1. I will forget to spray/grease/butter the pan when baking anything. Shizz's husband Mizz is probably rolling his eyes at me right now. I do. I can use non-stick pans and the shit I'm baking still sticks...
2. N will pee the INSTANT I put him in the tub. For this I am grateful, he could be peeing the instant BEFORE I put him in the tub. That would suck.
3. If there is a situation that could be drama, I will spend WEEKS before hand making up even more drama in my head. While this stresses me out and makes poor A have to deal with a bitchy ass wife for a few weeks, it makes the actual event much better because it could not possibly be as bad as I have made it out to be over the last few weeks.
4. Wine will f*** me up. Period.
5. If N sleeps through the night, I will not. Something will wake me up. It's lifes way of telling me this is they way life is going to be FOR-E-VER (in the style of Sandlot)
6. EDITED OUT (by me!)
7) N will make me laugh when I'm having a bad week/day/month.
8) I will go months without blogging. I just don't want to get your hopes up again that my ridiculous blog posts will start coming at a regular basis.
9)EDITED
10) EDITED
11) EDITED
12) Wine will fuck me up. Wait. I already said that. Maybe I should stop drinking wine...
13) A will take my car (since we got a new one(used Volvo SUV), he likes mine better) and leave it with no gas.
14) A will get super pissed when I leave his car with no gas like he does to me. HIP-O-CRIT-I-CAL (yeah, I know that's not how it's spelled)
15) Brown eyed girl will always make me smile. Even on an infomercial.
16) A will buy whatever that infomercial is trying to sell him unless I wrestle him for the phone while ordering. (Hello Ronco knives that BLOW, they couldn't cut butter)
17) Country music will make me happy. I know everyone thinks it's all "my dog died, my wife left me, my sister's at war, I got fired, etc." but good country is like good dance music. I love Dynamite from Taio Cruz and the song Stuck like glue from Sugarland and Undo it from Carrie underwood. If N's not in the car when those songs come on, they are blasted and I'm ROCKING! \oo/!!!
18) WARNING: EMOTIONAL MOMENT PROMPTED BY WINE: I will be lonely every day of the week. I am a social being. I need to interact with people on a regular basis. Right now 6 members of my family (and 1 close friend) are 14 hours away and 1 member of my family and all 6 of my closest friends are 3 hours away. I am not one of those "all I need is you (A) and our kids" kind of people. I need all my friends and family for different things. I can even tell you what they all do for me. I love them all and they are all extremely imporant people in my life. Even the H's of my BFF's. Not in an"I'm a whore" kind of way but all of these people make me happy and I miss them so badly. Also, on top of missing all these amazing peeps, H is gone 3-5 nights a week. FML.
19) Final Inevitability in LV's life: I will realize that I love my dear H more that the world and my son is literally the most amazing thing I have ever done in my life and as lonely as I am, they are amazing. I am blessed and I get that. Isn't the whole point of a blog to be able to vent for all the shit going on with you?
Wait....what?
It's not?
So what you're telling me is I'm supposed to blog about things that people other than ME care about....
F_(<.
Damn. You're killing me smalls!!
PS First to name the movie will be posted as reader of the moment (HA!)
