This weekend, on Saturday, I noticed some postings on FB from a friend of mine from elementary school. He was asking for prayers for his friend Dave. Now, I may have left the town in 6th grade but before that my mom was on the board of selectman for the town and we knew ALOT of people in town. My friend from FB (G) and I grew up together, I have a picture of us graduation pre-school together. So I kind of thought I might know this Dave. I looked at his FB friends and noticed there was only 1 Dave, whom I definitely knew. My sister knew his sister and I started to worry. So I sent my prayers their way.
On Sunday, my younger sister texted me. Her best friends from the same town, spent most of her life there and knew everyone as well. She had called my sister to tell her that Dave had died. My sister texted me and told me all she knew. It was some sort of car accident. There were at least 3 other people in the car. 2 I know are ok, but I don't know about the others. I was shocked and sad for the family and friends but since we hadn't been close at all, I wasn't histerical or anything.
As Sunday wore on and I was playing with N, things started to pop into my head. The first thing I thought about was how creepy/weird FB makes death. I can still go out to his page, search for him and choose to add him as a friend if I wanted to. It makes it unreal. In a way, the person is still living on but in another way it's just wrong. It's got to be painful for friends and family to see that, and even see people who maybe hadn't heard posting on his wall, after he's gone. It just seems so weird to me.
Then as I was rocking N before naptime, trying to calm him down since he did NOT want to nap, I couldn't help but thinking how lucky I was. My husband, whose job and time in the Army put his life in danger constantly, is healthy and whole. We have an amazing son so while is challenging at times (like when I'm exhausted and A is out of town, so maybe that's not his fault) is perfectly healthy and happy. We have great friends and family. A beautiful house and great jobs. I can't imaging any of the people in my life being ripped away so harshly.
I sat there rocking N (probably longer than I should have at this point) thinking about Dave's family. The pain they must be going through and how I can't imagine the little person that I was holding being gone from my life, or my husband not coming home one day. I started to get sad and little sick even thinking it about. It made me extremely grateful for my little family and all my extended family and "friend family". I know that I'm not always as grateful as I should be. I'm not always as patient as I should be with A or N. I'm not always as good a friend as I could be, I'm sometimes selfish with my time, or just lazy. It's amazing to me that the sudden passing of someone I hadn't seen in over probably 17 years brought this all on. I am grateful it affected me this way, because it has made me realize again how much I have.
My thoughts and prayer go out to the family and friends of Dave. I cannot imagine the pain and anger they must be going through, but I know that they will make it through. Even knowing Dave for the short time I did I know he would want them to.
My thoughts and prayers are also with all of you, that you stay safe and healthy. I am grateful to have every one of you in my life.
